Shit, I better open this fuckin' place before any more workers disappear. Not even gonna bother ask if anyone's seen Marcus-- that cuntsnacker's long gone. You can always tell it.

Anyway. [a clearing of his throat, and suddenly, Showman Jan is on scene!]

You poor sad fuckers that still gotta eat shit ever find your sorry asses hungry? Craving ( Read more... )

So, how do you fuckers feel about, like, ramen and shit?

Holy shit, fucking finally! Dunno about anyone else, but I was pretty goddamn sure I'd be spending the rest of my life watching barnacles get it on. And that? Is not as hot as you might think. No market for that shit in porn, and that's saying something ( Read more... )

I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING BOAT. What fatasses around here have boats? I'll, like... buy it, or some shit. If I gotta. I'd rather rip your goddamn throat out and take the fucking thing, but I'll buy it if I gotta.

SO, VOLUNTEERS?

Christ, I finally fuckin' get outta there, and half my goddamn bros just up and leave! If that ain't bad fuckin' manners I don't know what is.

--Anyone seen Karin around, for that matter?

[pause, then, mumbled--] Fucking shit. [the rest is written, possibly to avoid silly things like sounding like he gives a shit.]Dude, bro, Lyle. If you're gone ( Read more... )

So, WHO FUCKING MISSED ME?!

Christ, you poor bastards. So long without my charming face in your collective fuckin lives! WELL, NO MORE OF THAT SHIT. I'm back now, here to spread a little love and good fuckin will! Or, you know, terror and tears. Whatever comes first ( Read more... )

You buncha giggledicks sure can put on a pretty goddamn good show, you know that? And I'm likin' the arson, good touch! What's up next? Anyone plannin' any public executions? Fuckin' love those!

Hey, fuckfaces! Which applies t'most of this fuckin' place, so lemme rephrase. Hey, Rip and Officer Catboy! You know he's gone, right? Dunno when he left, but he sure as hell ain't mumbling his weird shit into his journal anymore. Where the fuck are your asses?

You know what the problem is with this fuckin' island? Huh?

No one's got a sense of goddamn humor.

[Thoughtfully, from farther away] Well, that and there ain't a fuckin' Gamecube in sight, but mostly it's the humor thing.

Hey, uh... Karin? You're still alive and shit after all this, right?

Cuz, y'know, it'd fucking suck if you were pussy enough to be killed by a goddamn dream.